Monday, September 26, 2005

virus alert

why do men handle viruses so haphazardly? am not referring to the computer ones which are axed with proper fanfare, but the ones that attack the immune system. men get wide-eyed at a body malfunction since they cannot download a software that will solve the problem. they stare forlornly at themselves wondering why there never was a virus alert... why couldn't it be a plain and simple pop-up that stated in its display bar: "virus detected". crocin was never as effective as symantec anti-virus...hell it could not even be counted in the same league! men make for bad patients... ask any self-respecting nurse. they turn curt, self-piteous, and make for ungracious hosts.

beauty is the beast

says my bong colleague: there are more beautiful women per square mile in calcutta, yet, men don't want to go within an inch of them coz they are dominating, irritating, and completely obsessed with not becoming doormats. So Beauty be damned, the men turn their backs on the doe eyes, and just check out the other communities.
Which means that there are loads of bong beauties, all single, many even divorced, unable to find someone who would take the chance and date them in culture rich Cal...
maybe they should all just move to mumbai, where they can carry out relationships without ever making conversation!! no doubt, that might solve the problem?

Thursday, September 15, 2005

imagine a world without one-liners

long ago, a man walked into my office telling me he was the best thing that happened to mumbai. i looked at him quizzically and he returned the glare with a brilliant one-liner. later found out he was ash chandler, at that time, one of the few stand up comedians around. my first question to him was why only a handful of people in the city took up humour as a career choice. why would stand up comedy clubs never take off in mumbai? he gave me a limmerick i think in exchange, and whatever it was, it really made me laugh.
today when i see the great indian laughter show on star, i think that maybe the time is near when you can drop by your neighbourhood adda read laughter club and chill over one-liners and a few drinks. isn't that an incredibly easy way to unwind... i mean think about it, the people you veer towards most when it comes to spending an evening out are the ones who can make just a lil fun of themselves...
has the concept of a comedy club finally arrived in mumbai?
on another note, everyone today is interspersing business communication with something geeky, just to fan out the flames. should effective one-liners become part of college curriculums?
Oh, where have i been for so long? dunno...
can't remember a thing of the past month, so makes it difficult to write.
the most exciting thing that happened was that i got rejected for my US visa the second time.
why exciting?
the conversation followed the same flow:
why do you wanna go?
how long will you stay?
how long have you been with your present company?
your visa says you've been to canada? (eyebrows raised)
how long did you stay?
aha
sorry/really sorry.

so now i am wondering if a trip to canada has made me ineligible to enter the united states for good.
oh the price of toronto:(

on the flip side, why do americans name all their hurricanes after women?